Quarantined

It feels kind of surreal to be in these times. It is March 2020, and we are quarantined due to the COVID-19 virus. I keep reading about how historians are encouraging folks to keep records of what is happening during this time because these times are unprecedented, and someday, we will want to look back. 

For years now, I've wanted to bring back old school blogging. I started blogging in 2003 on MySpace, and then moved on to Blogger in 2005. I was connected to all sorts of women all over the world -- artists, painters, writers, etc. and I remember it as one of the fondest times of my life. There was no sponsored content or deep thoughts or trying to build a personal brand. I was a young 20-something just talking about my life. A few years in, I started blogging with intent and sponsored posts and trying to be A Brand, instead of just being me, and saving the more personal stories for my own journals and such, convinced that my life could be used to make money. I also wrote a lot of bad poems and made some ugly art and did a lot of things without feeling self-conscious because these women were doing it alongside of me and there was an earnestness to it without fear of everyone seeing. 

I miss it. I've been thinking a lot about those times in my life and how things felt simpler and more fun and more genuine. I would rather cut off my arms than be in my early 20's again, but I do miss the innocence with which I made things, wrote stories, and did things. I miss feeling connected and doing things slowly and without intent beyond just doing them. 

This time is weird. I miss my people. I miss my students. I miss my friends and my family but I also feel extremely grateful and lucky to be in the position I am in. I work at a job that is going to pay me and continue benefits. So does my spouse. We live in an extremely cozy home with two dogs. We have food and cooking is one of my favorite things to do. I have approximately nine million books to read. I am in good health. We have a pretty neighborhood to walk in and a Peloton to move my body on, plus countless online options due to our Internet connection. My friends have been using Marco Polo and holding virtual happy hours. It feels weird, yes, but also special. 

I've spent the last two and a half years working towards a career in stand-up comedy. It has meant that most of my evenings have been spent out and about at open mics and shows. I've driven to San Francisco/Oakland many evenings. While I am terrified about what this means for me moving forward in terms of a huge goal, I am oddly grateful to have a break to be home. To stop the grind. It doesn't mean that I don't love it or care or want to work hard, it simply means that I recognize the benefit of a break. I miss the stage of course but right now, this feels like good and important work. To keep others safe. To find joy in what is. To be okay being at home and in the minute-to-minute life. 

Here are a few glimpses of what I've been up to:

Hank is living for quarantine. Both moms home, with open laps? That's a win for him. He hasn't stopped touching me. 

Some friends and I did a virtual happy hour and it was lovely. More of this please.

I made my friend Joy's recipe for Doing The Most Chocolate Chip Cookies and have been baking only a few per day for maximum Quarantine Joy.

Olive is happily napping. 

I plan to keep writing here. I have some books of writing prompts that have sat on my shelf, unused. I have a lot of weird stories to tell. I plan to document what daily quarantine life is like. And mostly, I hope to connect with other folks who are stuck at home too. This feels like a great equalizer in some ways: no personal branding, no products to hawk, no sponsored posts or trips. It feels like a kinder, smaller time on the Internet, and I for one am here for it. 

Sending you love wherever you're at in this space and time.